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By Talha Masud
I always enjoy discussions with few of my good friends who are always with rebuttals. Interestingly, they need to be convinced not by mere flat “stereotypes” but with strong arguments, which means: no exaggeration or generalization. One rainy day, over black tea and pakoras, we leaned towards a thoroughly attention-grabbing debate that was about ‘cross-cultural marriages’. I was backing the notion on the grounds that such matrimonial alliances help cultural integration into practical terms putting us unaffected from negative cultural oversimplifications. A guest with us came out with something like this that I have heard many times: “At least marrying in your ethnic-circle secures your corpse to be thrown away in a shady place if even you are killed by your race-mates”. I had to argue that what is the guarantee of smooth sailing after tying the knot in your ethnic group and if you expect for-granted security from your race, then is there any question arises of you being killed in the first place, let alone being hurled in a shadow? He didn’t convince any of us in his response.
Cultural generalization is one of the biggest psychological bugs in our society as a whole. Generalization in this sense refers to having some carved and implanted theories against other cultures, communities and their social values. This false virus had broadened at rampant pace and has only to do with our mental fixations. Having set beliefs against certain cultural settings, we are always prone to disrepute them and this practice has become a favorite hobby in the present times. By this, frustration stricken people automatically follow the herd instinct and by disgracing others’ societal norms, they qualify themselves of being ‘superior creatures’ for their satisfaction.
Take an instance of metropolitan cities or the suburban villages; you can’t put forward objective recommendations for its psychological lag of being ethnocentric in nature. It would simply be rebellion out of you to improvise with ‘better infusions’ in your society. For a long period of time, I took it as a rural practice alone but I was proved fatally wrong in my further years of experiencing such awkward approach even from ‘modernized’ urban segments. The majority suppressing minority has been the world order but in the modern world, they are slowly getting rid of these mental constraints to only view the things as realistically as they exhibit but our region is almost stuck to apt with the rectification of the stance that has already been the biggest impediment in our social strengthening.
Prejudice, is not a part of any culture. Rationally, vested interest groups in every culture adopt it. The reason is simple: No majority loves to be placid out of the fear of losing nuisance among the other minorities. And it is generally said that “To prove yourself right, you must prove others wrong” and these days if you have the might, you are absolutely right.
No one can ever prove any culture total wrong or total right, nor can deny with the beauties it incorporates from generations. From Shah Abdul Latif’s mesmerizing messages, Bulleh Shah’s spiritual teachings, Atta Shad’s catchy poetry to Rahman Baba’s inspirational impression or the genres of the festivities of each culture, only spread love and harmony. The thing we confuse is culture with dirty politics or ill approaches and mindsets with cultures.
Paulo Coehlo, the great Brazilian writer, in his bestseller paperback ‘The Alchemist’, invents a concept of understanding ‘Language of the world’. This is a kind of secret language that helped the character communicate with each and every thing in the world getting befriended with it at the same time. It includes all the positive omens and gut feelings about whatever exist in the universe. Similarly, there can be ‘Culture of the world’ accord as well. The goods in all the cultures can be adopted for being differently thoughtful than masses with mob psychology. This is very much possible provided we respect and learn about each culture’s mores to check our shortcoming in our own practicing ones. Why not going for good than for bad in order to ameliorate our years in this world?
The hub of severe conflicts leading to massacre and social decline in Pakistan without a doubt is cultural disintegration. A Sindhi only stands for Sindhi, a Mahajir speaks for Mahajirs, Baloch supports Baloch, Punjabi covers Punjabi and Pashtoon backs Pashtoons for a sole reason of having cultural and normative differences. Mistrust, fear or being indifferent creates a chasm between them. I swear all of them have profound reasons but the hatred is because of unfamiliarity of each other’s intuitions and perceived perceptions. This can only be initiated by coming to common terms between the charismatic cultures. It would certainly bridge the gap of many misconceptions and communication between the bearers of several cultures having unknown differences, but yet, differences.
I think of a conversation with one of my teachers having a good name in regional literary services. How beautifully he has described the same issue that was striking my mind for so long! I remember his words; “A nation or a culture is not what we select for ourselves prior to our births. We have to accept it in whatever ethnic settings we grow up and learn the shared patterns of life. If I would have been born in a Jew, Hindu or in a disdainful family, I had to accept it unhesitatingly. So when we don’t even have the right of a title or a surname to be selected for us, how the hell we could be chauvinistic to others. Yes, I am proud that I am a good man. I am proud that I am wearing good clothes just because it was me who adopted this course of material and non-material civilization. I will now only be proud about my culture if I am spreading it in my capacity. Language is a human. If you can speak three languages, you are three people in one person because it depicts different cultures at different times. And it is the most beautiful thing to not forget your culture but to expand it in positive manners. What our national political parties failed miserably to do is to spread their respective cultures in true spirits among the individuals of other cultures. I bet no national political front had persuaded the students to propagate their culture or to help them write or read the language they speak at homes to broaden their visions.”
I thoroughly second his opinion that instead of inviting or enchanting our cultures to get associated with others, we have made it a cartel to only keep our hegemony on others of being lords at space, sarcastic of those who want to intermingle considering it their weakness is what the real problem is. Any individual can be a piece of rubbish or an apple of the eye and not his/her whole social order or culture. If we generalize, we surely would come out with clichés. With false deductions. With prejudiced results.
The need of the hour is to understand, accept and transform into having ‘we group’ feelings outside our cultural setups too. For this is the remedy of our differences and hatred at large, slow, but meaningful. As to love, a single reason is plenty but to hate, even hundreds of them do not suffice.
